This Is Us
How to Hate Your Mother
I don’t forgive her — but I learned to set my own boundaries and live my life
I’ve hated my mother since I was five years old. Okay, maybe hate is a strong word, but the dislike I have for the woman who gave birth to me is pretty strong, too. Over the past 15 years of my career, I’ve written about my relationship with my mother and the lack thereof, and the question I receive more often than any other is, “How is your relationship with your mother now?” In answering this inquiry, I am always proud to report that I choose not to have anything to do with this awful woman, and my life is better off for it.
Most people can’t imagine such a thing — a daughter having no love for her mother — while others completely understand because they also feel guilt-free dislike for their mothers. Those who can’t relate are often shocked and saddened by such disconnection and usually ask, “What makes you feel this way?” They want to know how such a thing could happen between a mother and her child and almost always want to know if there is any chance of reconciliation. To them, the bond between a mom and her baby is unbreakable, and the blood between them is too thick to go bad. But millions of other estranged children and I are proof otherwise.
