PRIDE 2024
27 Lessons Learned in 27 Years of Being Out
The journey continues, but here’s what’s clear so far
Each year for Pride, I like to publish this list and add to it. It’s my reminder that the life of a gay man is an ever-evolving journey. I enjoy looking critically at life’s experiences and understanding their lessons. I hope these are somewhat helpful to someone somewhere on this vast Internet.
I came out in 1997, three months after my parents divorced. It was a tumultuous time. Our family was changing, and so was I. I was 19, and those who loved me begged me not to make such a bold declaration at such a young age. But I knew what I was. In fact, it seemed I was the last one who knew what I was. I think the little Capezio dancer shoes I wore to school were the big tell — or the home perm I got in seventh grade. At 13, I wanted curls like Kirk Cameron. Yes, that Kirk Cameron. (Is there any other?) So I bought a home-perm kit from our local C-Town grocer and begged my aunt to apply the magic serum to my straight hairs. My father, embarrassed and utterly confused, asked me why I couldn’t get a “normal” haircut. That was the first inkling I had that perhaps I was a different kind of boy.
Six years later, I fell in love with a classmate. Peter sat next to me in sociology. After months of…
