Lived Through This

Being a Telemarketer Saved My Life

Cold-calling 800 people a day gives you a rare window into human nature

Alex C. Bonesteel
Human Parts
Published in
13 min readMar 4, 2020

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A photo of a teal old-fashioned phone against a yellow background.
Photo: Jenpol Sumatchaya/EyeEm/Getty Images

It’s 6:00 a.m. and you’re eating breakfast. Your phone emits a sudden, cruel cacophony and begins dancing across your kitchen table. When you grab the phone to see who’s calling, you don’t recognize the number. You hesitate.

“It’s probably just a telemarketer,” you reason, but you greet the unknown caller with a cheerful “Good morning!” to be polite.

“Good morning!” An equally cheerful voice responds. “This is Alex with Aspen Publishing. I’m calling you today because we are the leading publisher of legal reference guides in the United States. We design our guides to take the complicated and confusing legal language that will often confuse a normal person, and translate it into plain, easy-to-read English…”

Dammit, it is a telemarketer, you think. Your irritation grows.

“…and what I would like to do,” the cheerful voice continues, “is send you our OSHA compliance guide free of charge! We send it out at no cost to you, and you are free to review the guide for 30 days. If you want to keep it at the end of the 30 days, the cost is only $287! If not, just send it back! Sound good?!”

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Alex C. Bonesteel
Human Parts

I write on intriguing subjects across the spectrum of life. Currently working FT as an executive for https://lume.com