Every Parent’s Worst Nightmare: My son entered ‘ways to beat up my younger brother’ into ChatGPT.There we were, Sunday afternoon in the snug, and as I caught up with organising my expense receipts, my two sons sat reading. It’s…Jan 17Jan 17
What I’d love Apple Intelligence to actually do.I downloaded the new OS and changed my language to American US (I’m English — the ignominy!) and joined the waitlist and …Oct 30, 2024Oct 30, 2024
33 fail-safe instructions for getting noticed by your office crush, guaranteed 133% successful.1. Pretend to receive a phone call from Keanu Reeves. Speak loudly enough that the entire office believes you to be talking to Keanu…Jul 21, 2024Jul 21, 2024
Every critically-acclaimed and bestselling contemporary novel reads like this.And I’m sick of it.Jun 22, 20241Jun 22, 20241
I survived the UK’s most terrifying museumBut may have scarred my children for life.May 6, 2024May 6, 2024
What Soccer Can Teach You About Literature.“The thing about football — the important thing about football — is that it is not just about football.” Terry PratchettApr 28, 20241Apr 28, 20241
Nobody turned up to my book-signing. I tweeted about it. Next thing you know, I’m a bestseller*.(*Well, briefly UK Amazon’s Number 1 in Dystopian Fiction for Children)Apr 18, 202427Apr 18, 202427
I was attacked by a poltergeistIt wasn’t exactly like the horror films would have you believe.Apr 3, 20241Apr 3, 20241
A week ago, I finally quit Twitter. This is what I’ve achieved in that time.A couple of times a day for the past week, I’ve accessed Twitter through my work account. I search for @cakesthebrain and “Tom Mitchell”…May 1, 2023May 1, 2023
The Nightmare World of a Tweet that Got 250k LikesGoing viral wasn’t as much fun as I’d hopedNov 27, 20223Nov 27, 20223
Umbrellas: A Secret History of ViolenceTerrorism, assassination, and lightning strikesMay 18, 20223May 18, 20223
The Trail of a Lonesome Pine: A coniferous history of the world’s favourite woodI once knocked over a Billy bookcase in an Ikea store. An old woman screamed as it fell.May 11, 2022May 11, 2022
Splish Splash: A History of Rain BootsA toddler walks a dog along a country track. He heads toward the camera. There is a line of trees behind the boy, and grass turns to…May 4, 2022May 4, 2022
The Hottest Thing You’ll Read All Day: A History of Chilli PeppersIt’s easy. You need a can of tomatoes, some onion and garlic, beans (I like black), a bell pepper (hated by Mexicans), and a chilli pepper…Apr 28, 20226Apr 28, 20226
Blowhard: A History of Hand DryersChildren are afraid of hand dryers. YouTube is full of videos of kids crying in restrooms, the hand dryers roaring and callous parents…Apr 21, 2022Apr 21, 2022