Human Parts

A home for personal storytelling.

Follow publication

Member-only story

A Christmas Lyft to IHOP

“hey sorry i haven’t returned your texts. i’ve been in a really bad place recently (denver).” — @kassoysauce

I saw my baby sister crawl across the white kitchen tile in her diaper and take a drink from the dog’s bowl.

It was the first joke Mal ever told.

Now, even her Twitter name is always my favorite joke on the internet: “Paul Blart Mal Cop.” “Mal Gore.” “Father Time.”

One year, she and I were the only ones left in the city. It was zero degrees, nothing was open, the train never came — and then, the best idea she’s ever had: A Christmas Lyft to IHOP, our magic sleigh to Grinch-themed pancakes drenched in warm maple syrup.

We spent that New Year’s getting high and having Thai from our favorite place, Klom Klorm. I spent the next New Year’s clubbing with friends, missing her and our Miley Cyrus parody:

“It’s the Kloooorm.”

“It must have been hard watching your father bury his baby sister,” my mom said after my aunt’s funeral, like she knew I imagine Mal crushed by the relentless gravity of sadness and imagine how hard it must be to make a snow angel under a white avalanche of covers — to write a joke when you can’t get out of bed.

These days I have this dream where I’m alone on the kitchen floor. I eat pad see ew and laugh and laugh and weep and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Ben Kassoy is a writer, poet, and strawberry spinning like a dreidel. His new chapbook, THE FUNNY THING ABOUT A PANIC ATTACK, is available now. Ben also writes a Substack about creativity, social change, and miscellaneous delights.

Create an account to read the full story.

The author made this story available to Medium members only.
If you’re new to Medium, create a new account to read this story on us.

Or, continue in mobile web

Already have an account? Sign in

Human Parts
Human Parts
Ben Kassoy
Ben Kassoy

Written by Ben Kassoy

Poet, writer, author of THE FUNNY THING ABOUT A PANIC ATTACK -- available now! www.benkassoy.com/books

Responses (2)

Write a response