A Comprehensive Review of Shattering Both Legs

It’s not zero stars.

Mia Lazarewicz
Human Parts

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Two legs in thick casts under a blanket are seen from the inside of a hospital van. The highway stretches out beyond the back windows.
The seventeen-hour drive from Knoxville to Boston

If you asked me to imagine what shattering both legs at the same time would feel like — and I have imagined it before — I’d picture some kind of long fall. A building collapsing beneath me, or a desperate leap from my house to escape a fire. And I would have thought of screaming on the way down, the terrifying anticipation of impact, smashing into the ground at rag doll angles, and the way glass breaks in totality. I would have pictured a calcium and collagenous explosion of pain that steals your breath from you and won’t give it back.

It wasn’t like this. And whatever you’ve imagined, it wasn’t like that either.

Consider this your search result for “Review of Breaking Your Legs (CRAZY!!! NSFW).” You’ll get all the gory details of unboxing your bones and ligaments in due time, but here I’ll skip ahead to the end: Overall, I do not recommend this experience. There was the constant pain and social disability, for one thing, though that’s not too different from just being a woman. But there was also the financial ruin, the crushing impact on my family and my business, plus a few other small things like the total loss of myself, my identity, my goals, and most of my joy.

But, like all good reviewers, I want to be fair in my harsh assessment of things, so I’d…

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Mia Lazarewicz
Human Parts

NSCA-CPT, CSCS, American Ninja Warrior, gymnast, author, sneakerhead. Follow me on IG @thebossiraptor.