A Homeless Guy and an Illegal Alien Walk into A Park

After this date, immigration rules are just another joke to me

Sangeeta Kalsi
Human Parts

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Me sitting in my sundress at the Horticulture Garden in Florence, Italy. I’ve just spotted the man this article is about to zero in on.

“I really liked the dog from your Tinder profile,” I said to him, looking gingerly around at the baggage he had decided to bring to our date. It’s a first date. Usually people leave their issues — and things — at home for those. He couldn’t.

“Oh, you won’t believe it,” he laughed, setting his guitar down on the cobbled step below us.

“I took him from a beach in Portugal. So cute, isn’t he?”

“You just… took him?” I get a shrug in turn.

“He looked so sad.”

Imagine that.

After having unsuccessfully dated a starving-artist type for a month and a half, I considered returning to the dating scene. It was a situation-ship that left me rubbed raw and reeling. Fortunately — although I was in Florence and only spoke the language up to a lower-intermediate level — there was no shortage of matches on Tinder for me.

As luck would — or wouldn’t — have it, a date was about to show up in my life right at the cut-scene of said situation-ship. To deal with my heartache in the meanwhile, I sought the comfort of a friend. Y’know, like any romantic lead in a rom-com would. My friend Josie* and I…

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