A Meditation Technique for Facing Grief

Breathing in the world’s suffering helped me deal with sickness and death

Jenny Zenner
Human Parts

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Photo: Westend61/Getty Images

WeWe knew that death was rapidly approaching for Libby when she became too weak to swallow her pureed food or even suck from a straw. My twin sons were only three years old when we started frequenting the nursing home where she lived, excited to take McDonald’s milkshakes to their great-grandmother.

On what turned out to be her last day, I lifted my boys over the side rail and oxygen tubing that surrounded her like armor. One hovered, giggling as he planted a kiss on her forehead. She was just shy of 88.

During that final week, I finally pulled my signed copy of Roshi Joan Halifax’s book Being With Dying from the bookshelf where it had lived, its spine still uncracked after nearly a year. I had purchased it at a mindfulness conference the first time I heard Halifax speak. At the time, no one in my life was actively dying, and a part of me didn’t want to jinx myself or my loved ones, so I kept the book on hold, knowing that sooner or later I’d need the solace it would undoubtedly offer during a time of need.

With Libby’s passing, Halifax began speaking to me through the pages I read, yet I only made it through the first few chapters before it was buried bedside among the stacks of…

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Jenny Zenner
Human Parts

Hurdle your obstacles with grace. Developed the Stress Response Playbook F-ing A Framework. Internal Family Systems + Polyvagal Coach. https://jennyzenner.com/