Arresting Moments of Happiness
It’s taken me a long time to get here, but this morning, I woke up thinking “I am happy”
I woke up at 4:15am this morning needing to pee. My lower back felt stiff and I had pins and needles in my legs. My two cats, Sayang, the big one, and Dusty, the little one, were snuggled up with me — Sayang under my right arm, with half her body and outstretched paws draped over my belly; Dusty, curled up like a ball on top of my thighs, just below my crotch. We had slept like this all night, and I felt like I had two beanbags pinning me to the bed. The cats had their faces pressed up against each other and I could reach down and stroke both their beautiful heads. My husband was fast asleep next to me, snoring gently. Though his skin is now drier and crinklier, I could still see the 28-year-old I had fell madly in love with almost 30 years ago. It was a cold winter morning in Portland and being under the covers, surrounded by these three living, breathing creatures felt wonderful.
My phone was charging on the nightstand, and turning to look at it, I felt connected to my friends — some who lived in the same city and others who lived in different continents; some new, some who I have known since I was a child — who had sent me Merry Christmas text messages the day before. I thought of my parents, my 87-year-old grandma…
