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Between Sacred Lines
Divine Processing: My Questions at the Temple
I grew up in an orthodox South Indian family, where life was intertwined with worship and rituals. Nothing moved forward without God’s blessing, from school admissions to starting a business. I went along with it happily for most of my childhood and teenage years.
I even believed that visiting temples more often would mean more blessings, better exam results, better jobs, better at everything.
When I turned 25, I began losing that old trust. It wasn’t dramatic. I didn’t become a rebel or adopt a new philosophy overnight. It was gradual, like how I lost interest in bursting fireworks during Diwali or celebrating my birthdays. Temple visits, which once felt vital, slipped out of my routine. I stayed away for almost a decade.
Then I got married. My wife is deeply religious, and I started accompanying her to temples again, sometimes reluctantly. Standing before the deity after so many years away felt strange. My wife would pray in the usual namaskar posture, eyes closed, whispering her heartfelt requests. Meanwhile, I stood beside her, hands loosely folded, mostly observing as I lost the faith in this practice.
I realized I was noticing everyone else’s prayers, too.
