bewbs

Boobs Like Mine

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bewbs

Recently and as always, my ten-year-old daughter, gawking at me while I dressed, announced her observations like a brilliant sports announcer:

Your butt is jiggly.
Thanks, I love chips.

Your belly button is weird.
Thanks, I had a surgery that went through my belly button and after that I grew you and you made it worse.

You have a weird dark spot above your butt.
Thanks, your colic and reflux caused me so much stress I ended up with shingles which left me emotionally and physically scarred.

You look so fancy!
Thanks, I decided to wear my navy sweatpants instead of my black sweatpants today and throw in a pair of gold hoop earrings to really complete the outfit.

I hope I get boobs like yours.
Thanks, I —

<<RECORD SCRATCH>>

You hope what now?!

I hope I get boobs like yours!

I laughed so hard I peed a little.

I’ll let you in on the joke since you now know entirely too much about me naked, but also, you can’t see me.