But I’m successful and attractive, and I continue to receive perfectly good marriage proposals!

So why is everyone so worried?

“Yeah, Orpita. Yeah, she is good. Yeah, I don’t know why she doesn’t want to get married.”

I overheard my mom on the phone the other day, giving a family update to an old friend. It stung. Earlier, she used to talk about my latest degree, a conference talk I gave, or a new job — now it’s only about my single status.
But I’m successful and attractive, and I continue to receive perfectly good marriage proposals! Am I imagining it, or can I actually hear the pity in their voices? My aunt’s attempt to be “considerate” of Mom’s misfortune — they quickly gloss over this uncomfortable topic of me, as if my single status somehow negates all my accomplishments. It’s a stark contrast from how they used to see me — the goody-two-shoes with the bright future, the one all the other kids were compared to. Now, it seems, I’m just Orpita, the unmarried daughter.

And this isn’t an isolated incident. It reflects a deeply ingrained belief around me (I can attest to mindsets in India & South-East Asia at least). Remaining unmarried, especially for women, particularly past 30, is seen as unusual, or even a cause for concern! This is deeply rooted in cultural and traditional norms. Big cities, small villages — at least on this matter, we all seem to agree.