Member-only story
Called to the Torah in Trump’s America
My daughter is approaching bat mitzvah age — but I’m ambivalent
This past June, I found myself in the sanctuary of the synagogue where my daughters attend Hebrew school. It was not a Jewish holiday, and I was not praying. I was at an orientation for parents of students beginning the b’nai mitzvah program — two years of study leading up to a bar or bat mitzvah.
Introductions were made, chitchat hushed, times and dates announced. There would be tutoring, a monthly family class, a bunch of other meetings, a “donation” to the congregation, and finally, the kicker: Students would have to attend 12 Torah services each year.
I froze. On Saturday mornings, when those take place, our family is out of town, asleep, or at our bat mitzvah student’s soccer game. My hand shot into the air like a panicked first-grader with a bathroom emergency.
“Twenty-four Torah services? What if our family can’t do that?” My voice wavered, though I tried to keep it steady. To my horror, tears spilled down my cheeks. I was crying. At orientation.
The leaders rushed to explain. To become a bat mitzvah, a student must know the service she is to lead, must be familiar with its rhythms and prayers, must understand its meaning… All I heard was must, must, must. A refrain…
