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Confessions of a Serial Ghoster

I disappear because I love you

D. Tapscott, Ed.D.
Human Parts
3 min readFeb 13, 2020

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A black and white photo of a newspaper with a picture of a person wearing a ghost sheet over their face.
Photo: John Feinstein/Flickr

MyMy name is De and I am a serial ghoster. I ghost on friends, projects, family, and sometimes life. I think people get confused because I can have a whole conversation on Facebook, but ignore a text or call at the same time. That’s because if you’ve made it to being saved to my phone, I have a certain level of respect and love for you. It’s a higher level than my 1,000+ friends on Facebook. The idea of having to answer the question “How are you?” from someone on Facebook vs. someone saved in my phone is completely different. The person on Facebook doesn’t know that last week I called you crying on the phone because I was in the midst of a breakdown and missed therapy that week. But you. You do.

That level of intimacy is terrifying. So sometimes I ghost. I ghost you because I can’t deal with what you represent. You represent friendship. You represent love. You represent family, and I mean real family. See, I’m cut off from most of my blood relatives because I just don’t really know them. I can’t deal with them. So you have become my family, and to deal with family is tiring. So I ghost you. Yes, even you. Sometimes it’s so subtle you may not even notice. I may only ghost you for a day or two. Sometimes it’s months. I completely understand that I leave, and I completely understand your frustration. One minute I’m…

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D. Tapscott, Ed.D.
D. Tapscott, Ed.D.

Written by D. Tapscott, Ed.D.

I’m just your everyday melanin filled, black girl with a fire in her belly and something to say. DeLishaTapscott.com

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