This Is Us
Contemplating My Professional Development During the End of the World
Society is on pause, but my compulsion to keep hustling won’t quit
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I’m thinking of paying three grand for an online hypnotherapist training course. “Sucker!” My husband says. But he doesn’t get it. See, I believe in the power of “visualization with intent.”
Once I complete the course, I will get a diploma that will allow me to become a professional hypnotherapist. I will become the best hypnotherapist in all the land. I will make a decent living — maybe even become rich — helping people by telling them, “Your eyelids are getting heavy. You are getting sleepier and sleepier. And when you wake up, you will be living the life of your dreams.”
But then there’s the creative writing MFA program that’s wooing my wallet, too. This one’s more costly — more than $20,000 more costly — than the three-week-long hypnotist training course. But I’m already a professional writer, so with the MFA, I figure I can increase my odds of becoming a famous bestselling author. And if that doesn’t pan out, at least I’ll have the option of earning back the price of the course fees by teaching English at a neighborhood school for the next 10 years.
