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Crack! Crack! Crack! Ice Cold Beers Snapped Open All Around Me
How I Survived Dry June
“Nielson, barley pops are chillin’ in the cooler! Grab us some and get over here!”
My buddies invited me to settle into the last lawn chair under the huge patio umbrella for the start of a long drinking day. They had my Molsons on ice, too. Tons of them. Taunting me to say “Fuck it!” to a dry June a few days in.
In the breezy shade of a perfect summer day, bullshitting about old stories and new ones, I was totally tempted to throw back the beers with the boys. But I didn’t crack. I dodged heavy-duty incoming brewski artillery that day.
My troubles were just beginning.
I can barely believe it myself. Of all the months to go dry, I pick the one loaded with deck parties, family cookouts, grad parties, outdoor weddings, and backyard chores that aren’t the same without a beer in your hand. I made it through, though. Let me tell you how.
It all started in March when I booked my annual physical on July 1st. I wanted to lose weight, lower my blood pressure, and show some buff to my doctor, who was on my ass about my beer gut. I knew I could turn things around in a few months and go dry in June for an extra push. Looked doable on my Google Cal: it was a…
