The airbrushed 90s (Author’s photo)

Cutting Ties

And Trauma’s Lies

Carrie Graham
Published in
8 min readFeb 27, 2024

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The night my music manager called me to tell me that I had been nominated for a Juno award (against Alanis Morissette, no less), I got off the phone and cut the inside of my forearms. I didn’t bleed too heavily because, even though I’d cut properly lengthwise, I missed the main veins.

Once I saw the flesh spread wide open with fat and blue, ropey blood vessels exposed, I couldn’t bring myself to cut again. It wasn’t my first cutting incident. It was my last.

That was 31-ish years ago. So much happened during that time. A head-on car accident that ruined my spine and jaw. The Rodney King riots. My first real heartbreak. And then a Juno nomination for a record that was, essentially, a suicide note.

It’s weird to see my younger self acting like a sex kitten while singing a suicide note.

If you intentionally cut yourself in the state of California it’s an automatic 5150. That is a mandatory psychiatric hold where they ask you questions to ascertain whether you can be trusted in the wild.

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Carrie Graham
Human Parts

Left Coastie, Canadian-ish person. Writey-painty, artsy-webby. Arting at carriegraham.art; musicking at carrigraham.ca; devving at carriegraham.dev