Depression Was My Gateway Drug

Why I treat my depression like an addiction, not a disease

Shy Am I
Human Parts
Published in
6 min readDec 19, 2023

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Photo by Greta Schölderle Möller on Unsplash

The way they introduce addiction to kids in school is pretty nonsensical, at least it seemed that way to me. The curriculum portrays addiction as some sort of poisonous plant, teaching kids that as long as they don’t touch it, they’ll be fine. It designates some random scapegoat like marijuana or cigarettes as a “gateway drug,” and implies that as long as you stay away from them, you’ll be free from the threat of addiction.

Bullish*t.

Addiction isn’t so cut-and-dry, so linear. It’s not like you can avoid the path of addiction just by stepping over a couple of rocks. It can sneak up on you at any point in your life, taking the shape of a whole slew of things that most of us probably don’t even think to anticipate. Have I done drugs in the past? Yeah. Weed. Molly. Cocaine. Alcohol. Pills.

Of course, I’m not proud of everything on my track record, and fortunately, I’ve never become addicted to any of them… except one; one that no one ever warned me about.

In 7th or 8th grade, when I was 12 or 13, is when I first remember succumbing to the inexplicable melancholy that somehow wormed its way into my head. But I was able to explain it in part, at least at that time. I was too introverted to have…

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Shy Am I
Human Parts

I write about my experiences with depression and mental health. I also rap a bit. :)