Don’t make me say no more than once

Men think being persistent will eventually wear us down…but it really just wears us out.

My actual facial expression after many random encounters with men on the street who refuse to take a kind “no” for an answer. Photo is a still from the short film, Arable, by Evan Wiley and Motion Atlas Films.

I’m walking to the gym, headphones firmly planted over my earholes, enjoying the sunshine and the refreshingly crisp Los Angeles fall weather, when I pass a young man standing on the sidewalk. He starts speaking at me, in spite of the fact that I have headphones on. I can’t hear him, and assuming he’s asking for directions, I remove my headphones to ask what he’d said.

“I just wanted to tell you I think you’re really beautiful. Can I get your number?”

Aww. That’s nice, I think. But I’m not interested. He looks like he’s about 20 years old, and besides that, I’ve already got two life partners and a dazzling array of comets in my relationship constellation. I am polysaturated, pinecones.

Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I respond, “Oh, that’s so sweet, but I’m full up on relationships. Thanks for the kind words. Have a great day!”

I keep walking. He keeps talking.

“Come on, I’m a really nice guy. You don’t find too many of those. Just give me your number. I promise you won’t regret it.”

Wow. Okay. I turn him down again, still very kindly. I even tell him he has pretty eyes, and I’m sure…