HUMANS 101
We’re Getting Death and Dying All Wrong
Too many people die alone, leaving families to grieve remotely
One year ago this week, my 85-year-old father knew he’d die soon. Swiftly advancing cancer had left his body failing rapidly. There was nothing left to do but take pain medication and wait. But he was among the lucky, in one respect, and so was his family. Dad’s brain remained perfectly intact, and he was able to do the waiting at home. He called all his kids, grandkids, and great-grandchildren in for a few final conversations packed with the advice of a lifetime.
Death for many, however, is a far more heartbreaking, solitary, even pointless event, an end among relative strangers, often drawn out by the false hope that medical science can defeat the inevitable with one last procedure or pill. The result, far too often, is a lonely, agonizing demise in an intensive care unit with little to no chance for loved ones to say goodbye in person.
Prior to the pandemic, 38% of Americans died in hospitals and 22% in long-term care facilities, according to a new report in The Lancet, a British medical journal. The figures are similar or higher in several other Western countries, including Canada and the U.K.
