Humans 101
One Question to Help You Practice Empathy
Instead of simply assuming everyone’s trying their best, ask: ‘What if they’re secretly suffering?’
When I am angry and irritated by a result I don’t want to accept, remembering to ask, “What if they are trying their best?” usually works to calm my roiling emotional heartburn. But a heated encounter at my community center pool last summer had me thinking about how I can go a step further to ask, “What if they are suffering?” Can “assuming suffering” go beyond just dissipating frustration to actually building a bridge of empathy? And should I extend this kind of personal empathy even to someone who is wielding systemic privilege?
I love swimming because it always makes me feel like I’m on vacation. I equate moving through water with the ultimate indulgence. It’s better than chocolate.
I’d been learning to live in the new reality of my husband’s stage 4 cancer when I ordered myself a one-piece Speedo, swim cap, and goggles, so I could get reacquainted with our local community center pool for some vacation-reminiscent escape. As an additional plus, no one can see or hear you when you sob into pool water.
The etiquette of lap swimming was all new to me, but I could tell by the neat A-frame…
