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FAQ for Singles at the Thanksgiving Table
Be prepared for a festive interrogation!
Being single around the holidays can mean your dinner table feels more like an FBI interrogation, so here are some common questions and uncommon answers to really spice up the gathering, while giving thanks to your on-brand life choices.
Are you seeing anyone?
I am! The 10 of you right before my very eyes.
Who is that nice-looking guy you keep posting pics of on your Instagram?
That’s my friend. He’s gay.
But who is the other nice-looking guy on your Instagram?
Another gay man.
Are they all gay?
If I had a nickel for every time someone asked if a beautiful gay man on my Insta was my boyfriend, I could buy a boyfriend.
Yikes, you would buy a boyfriend?
Perhaps to save me from this festive, overflowing cornucopia of interrogation.
When’s the last time you went on a date?
When I opened my front door and Ricky said, “Here’s your Taco Bell, please rate me five stars.”
Can you believe your 21-year-old cousin is getting married next month?
I can. He lives in the Deep South, and there’s honestly nothing else to do there.
What kind of men do you like?
I like my men like I like my Thanksgiving tables — decorative, covered in gravy, and thankful for me.
Do you think making jokes about your dating life scares men away?
Ideally.
Have you tried online dating?
I’m always online, so it’s just called “dating.”
Which apps are you on?
All of them — Spnstr, Bchlrtt, Mstrbtr, Thrsty, DvrcdDads, FindATherapist, you name it.
