Finding Self-Love in the Peruvian Andes

The journey continues

Author at the summit ~ Vinicunca, Peru (4 January 2019 — taken by my guide, John)

The tightness in my chest increased with every step as the fatigue in my legs worsened. The small backpack on my shoulders seemed to weigh a ton even though much of its contents were lightweight, and my water bottle was now only half-full.

Trekking up Montaña Vinicunca on a foggy January 4, 2019, was one of the toughest experiences I’d ever had. It would become the most physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging day of my life. During those two hours and twenty-six minutes on that majestic mountain, I nurtured the warrior little girl within — and I haven’t stopped since.

Growing up, I had middle child syndrome. Being an only daughter, in a home that favored the boys further added to my low self-worth. After my parents divorced (I was 11 at the time and close to my dad), I was left with enough anger and resentment to last the rest of my existence. And while I know it would be unfair to paint my mother as a monster (after all, as a young single mother of three kids, she worked really hard to keep us safe), I now understand her unconditional preference for my brothers left deep scars.

It was this same sense of never being good enough and feeling the need to compete for my mother’s love that joined me as I stumbled over rocks and gasped for air on the seemingly…