Finding friends at any age

Finding & pursuing those sparks of connection

Heather McLeod
Human Parts
Published in
3 min readSep 18, 2023

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(Photo by bady abbas on Unsplash.)

Last night at the pub I wrote my phone number down, to give to a man I’d just met.

I wanted to add some words to give context. What words would make it okay? I was giving my number to a married man with two little kids, in front of his drunk bachelor party friends, while my boyfriend stood beside me. At the door to the pub my confidence failed me (or my better judgment won) and I crumpled the note in my pocket.

Why did I want, so very much, to stay in touch with this drunk tourist I barely knew? I’m not lonely. I have friends and acquaintances and long distance messenger chat groups and a close-knit family. And I love spending time alone. All my favourite hobbies are solitary.

But, I don’t have a community of people like me.

First I left university, then I left the professional workforce, then we sold our farm and left the foodie world, then my husband (aka soulmate) died, and then I moved back to my small hometown. Somewhere along the way I disconnected from the people I could really talk to. The people who read like I do, who want to talk about ideas and fears and parenting philosophies and what it means to live a “good” life.

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Heather McLeod
Human Parts

Writing about losing my young husband to cancer, grief, widowhood & this new, Plan B life. www.heathermcleod.ca https://www.buymeacoffee.com/heathermcleod