From Bullied Kid to Relationship Coach

Mistakes were made. And I’m a better man for it.

James Michael Sama
Human Parts
Published in
8 min readFeb 14, 2020

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Photos courtesy of the author.

WWhen I was 20, a friend of mine told me about The Game by Neil Strauss. The Game outlined the journey of a group of men who developed a system to go out to any event and take home any woman they wanted. These men were self-proclaimed nerds, geeks, and social outcasts. They reinvented themselves and pledged to never be defined by their past.

They called themselves pickup artists. A group of us purchased the book together and began to learn more about social dynamics and building attraction. I no longer had to be the bullied and chubby little boy who couldn’t get a date. I could (and did) leave all of that behind.

But I disagreed with much of the pickup artist industry. A lot of it was fake and scripted, simply about building a persona to attract someone for one night together. Nobody was learning the skills needed to build a real relationship or to actually improve themselves.

Feeling conflicted, I joined message boards flooded with pickup artists. I began to give input and advice—mostly around how to dress, and why we should work on building deeper connections than were advised in the book.

Messages started rolling in from guys who referred to me not as a pickup artist, but as a “natural.” I was…

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James Michael Sama
Human Parts

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama