An Education in Being, Not Doing

Learning to appreciate small, mindful moments with my son

Photo by author. Full circle to my son’s college graduation. My son, Blake Scott, in cap and gown

I walked in both of my graduation ceremonies. For the last one, I was more than six months pregnant, and 40 years old. I hung in there, insistent bladder and all, because friends and family, including my step-daughter from a marriage that was ending, were there to watch me waddle across the stage. Holding that diploma was the symbol of the end of an epic midlife crisis.

So many beginnings came after that ceremony. I started my counseling supervision on the way to becoming a licensed professional counselor. That took six years. The divorce was finalized. I gave birth to my son three months after graduation, which is why getting the license took six years. Becoming his mother taught me that being is so much more than doing.

Fortunately, I received enough of a settlement in the divorce that I could stay home with him the first year. After I brought him home, the doing of being a mother began immediately. My mother had to teach me how to change the first of a multitude of diapers. When I took the advice to nap when he napped (instead of doing everything I couldn’t do when he was awake) I would go immediately into REM sleep. My brain and body were that tired. But the peaceful, incremental moments with him were priceless.