Have You Encountered the Softboy?

He has some art to show you

Alan Hanson
Human Parts


Photo by Jacob Ufkes on Unsplash

TThe Fuckboy, in his current form, aims for the night, aims for the break, goals to ghost. The Softboy strings you along under loftier auspices. He is Nice yet Complicated; this isn’t just a hookup. It’s a series of such.

The Softboy did not talk to you at the party, but he’s adding you on Facebook while you’re on the train home. Soon, he wants to know if you’d “like to get drinks.”

“Or something.”

He discusses his ex-girlfriend within the first thirty minutes of the date. He talks about her in a sad, wistful way rather than a snarky, resentful way. The older Softboy will say, “Oh well, it’s in the past.” The younger Softboy will say, “So it goes.”

The Softboy may be named Tom. Or Phillip.

The Softboy wears a plain t-shirt or sweater and orders cheap beer backed with bottom-shelf whiskey. He is neither Bro nor Nerd. He is sensitive yet amusingly crass. He doesn’t want you to know he has feelings. He wants you to know that he has feelings and he is completely okay with that.

The Fuckboy is perplexed that you were upset when he forgot to text you for three days then sent “what are you up to” at last call. The Softboy knows this behavior is selfish and cruel, though his desire to get laid can…