Member-only story
Planet Soul
Healthy Relationships Begin With Knowing Who You Really Are
Meditation can help you locate your truest self
There is nothing better than being in a loving, peaceful relationship with your spouse or partner — and nothing worse than being stuck in a relationship prone to tension and contempt. But to build a great relationship with someone else, you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself first.
Imagine you’ve just finished a wonderful meal and are relaxing by candlelight in your favorite spot, enjoying a piece of chocolate with your partner. It feels so good you almost don’t notice it. You experience an absence of wanting anything else. You feel whole without the need for more. This is fulfillment — and it exists within us all the time.
It can be easy to think that happiness and fulfillment can only be found externally, anywhere but within us. When we live our lives that way, we open the door to needless disappointment and suffering.
Everything we experience occurs in our conscious mind, which has two levels of awareness: the talkative mind, or ego, and our more natural self, the silent mind.
When we believe the endless stream of thoughts, ideas, opinions, judgments, and often negative self-talk of our active mind, we can develop a false identity. Our ego, the part of ourselves that seeks to be safe and secure, loves all this messaging, but we aren’t good at figuring out what to take in and what to let go. We rely too much on what is outside of us to satisfy our desire for fulfillment. It’s easy to become disconnected from our spirit, but when we tap into our true self, we discover the flow of life and abundant inner happiness.
The ego defines itself through comparisons with others. It needs to feel superior to preserve its self-identity because it is vulnerable, insecure, and fearful. The ego likes opposition because stark contrasts make self-definition easier. The ego is dominant, insidious, and ever-present…
