‘How Are You Doing?’ Isn’t a Trick Question
When your friends ask how you’re doing, tell them
“I’m doing alright, how about you?”
For years, the answer was nearly automatic. A friend or co-worker would ask how I was doing, and I didn’t even have to think about it. I’d spit out the same mechanical response and move on.
Sometimes it was accurate, but mostly not. There were days I was feeling fantastic, days I was nearly broken, and everything in between. Regardless, the question rarely even reached the conscious part of my brain, even with my closest friends. I had no more desire to share my successes and happiness than I did my failures and sadness.
Worse yet, it wasn’t intentional. I wasn’t planning to hide my feelings from friends. Due to some combination of insecurities, introversion, and emotional laziness, evasion had become my default setting.
The first time I realized I was doing it was roughly five years ago. I had just arrived at a good friend’s house for dinner and drinks. We sat down, opened a beer, and started catching up. Unsurprisingly, he asked how I was doing, and my stock answer came popping out while I dedicated my mental energy to the beer in my hand.
“Cass, you could have a spear sticking out of your side, and you’d still say…
