Member-only story
How Can a Fat Mom Raise a Healthy Kid?
I may be at war with my own body, but I’m raising my daughter to love hers
“I want to be just like Mommy.”
The first time my daughter said that, it melted my heart and punched me in the gut. I am not the kind of mom who has all of her shit together. To be honest, I’m a single mama fighting back a mix of mental illness and more.
You see, I’m also fighting my body. To describe my body in a way readers might understand, I have to close my eyes; I’m far too used to seeing my body in a negative light. I have yet to give a successful description, however, because inevitably, my own words fall flat. I can see the beauty in other fat bodies, but I still struggle to see — and therefore describe — my own.
And when my readers realize I’m not just describing a fat mom, I’m describing a really fat one, their reactions frequently reinforce the idea that I don’t deserve body positivity because I am, apparently, too fat. And a mom that is “too fat,” they tell me, can’t possibly be healthy or good. It hurts to hear that.
A few months ago, a reader asked a question that’s been haunting me. After reading a story about my war with my body, and, after learning that I have lipedema and PCOS on top of disordered eating, they asked how a fat mom like…
