How to Date Me (and My Dead Husband)
A simple guide for a complicated situation
When We Match
No shirtless mirror selfies. No photos of dead animal trophies. Be a little bit chubby. Have a little bit of facial hair, or don’t. You can’t be too tall. Say you’re into photography or writing or art. Tease some sensitivity. Give a hint that you might have been married before. Like dogs, but don’t have them. Be from the East Coast or Texas. Spark something in me that feels like promise.
When We Message
Tell me my dog is adorable. Know basic grammar. Make a silly joke about anteaters. Be candid, but don’t overshare. Send an animated GIF of an animal. Keep the conversation light and short. Don’t ask me about my last relationship. Don’t ask me “what I’m looking for.” Instead, ask to meet me for a drink.
When We Meet
Buy the first vodka soda. Wear a shirt with a collar. Ask me questions. Be complex. Hide a thin layer of pain beneath our witty banter. Don’t ask about the men’s wedding band I wear on my right middle finger. Laugh often. Compliment my tattoos, but don’t push for their meaning. Talk about music. Talk about travel. Tell me something you want out of life that is so big, it feels impossible. Walk me to my car, and kiss me three…
