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8 Rules for Dating Without Losing Your Mind
Boundaries aren’t a bummer. They actually allow for better connection.
I started dating again almost immediately after I got divorced at 40.
Online dating is rough. Who needs the withering appraisals, hot pursuits followed by ghosting, overly long dates with people you aren’t jazzed about, or hours of chatting with strangers? But you can’t withdraw altogether, lest you risk limiting your options; finding a partner is a numbers game.
I spent five tumultuous years learning how to date without getting jerked around. Slowly but surely, I learned how to stay open yet remain sane so I could continue meeting people until someone worthy came along.
I came to realize that most people date without a plan, with only a vague idea of chemistry and happy endings. When you date without a plan, you’re allowing other people — who may be damaged, lying about their situation, unable to commit, or simply not a good fit — a lot of control over your time and happiness. Take a step back and think about how insane it is to let strangers waltz into your life and fuck it up just for the possibility of romance!
Here’s my first tip: The majority of people you’ll meet won’t be right for you. Stop getting tied up in knots over every date. It’s much…