Humans 101
Your Opinions Are Not Facts
How to share your experience without forcing it on someone else
There’s a lot to disagree about these days: politics, shutdowns, masks, travel restrictions, vaccines—you name it. And then there are the more mundane disagreements in everyday life, the little things, like setting the thermostat.
Someone wants to turn it down. You want it up. Someone says, “It’s too hot in here.” You say, “It’s not hot. It’s cold.” Before you know it, you’re in a silly argument. None of us need more aggravation, especially right now.
In order to express yourself respectfully and defuse arguments before they start, it’s important to understand the difference between facts, opinions, and toxic opinions.
A fact is a thing that is known or proven to be true:
- The Earth is round.
- Google is a search engine.
- Water is a simple molecule of positively charged hydrogen atoms and one large negatively charged oxygen atom.
An opinion is a view or judgment that depends on your assessment:
- I like pizza.
- I feel happy when I take a walk.
- I prefer to wear dark colors.
A toxic opinion is an opinion disguised as a fact:
- That project will never work.
- There’s a worldwide shortage of jobs right now.
- There’s no hope for a better life today.
Here’s why toxic opinions are problematic: When someone says “It’s too hot in here,” it’s easy to get defensive, because the statement excludes any possibility that your experience might be different. It doesn’t consider that you might be cold. “Too hot” is a relative term. It’s not a universally accepted fact.
It might be cute when a child says “Brussels sprouts are gross.” But it’s not cute when adults speak in toxic opinions.
Expressing an opinion disguised as a fact makes it toxic because it diminishes anyone else’s perspective. This is how many arguments start: one person imposes their opinion on someone else. The typical reaction is to push back aggressively, turning…
