Express Yourself
How to Write About Your Loved Ones Without Pissing Them Off
Few people like seeing themselves on the page, even if the portrayal is accurate
Welcome to The Draft, an advice column about writing and life from Eileen Pollack, former director of the University of Michigan MFA Program. We’re here to answer your questions about storycraft, writing, and telling the truth.
Have a question? Share it with us.
Dear Draft,
I’m okay exposing my own embarrassing secrets and weirdnesses, but the minute I write about anyone else, I panic that I’m going to ruin their life. How do you write about friends and family without losing their love and trust?
Signed,
Do No Harm
Dear Harmless,
Sadly, you will eventually run out of your own secrets to expose. No one is infinitely weird. Coming to terms with how you write about other people isn’t some minor issue; it’s central to the endeavor.
That doesn’t mean you need to be a jerk. As long you consult your conscience and come up with a rough set of guidelines, you have the right — perhaps even the obligation — to tell the truth about your time on this planet.
