I Don’t Know How to Money

Poverty has taught me to be resourceful — but it might be time for a new lesson

Kristine Levine
Human Parts

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Photo: Adrienne Bresnahan/Getty Images

II am about to make a huge financial mistake. Probably the biggest one of my entire life. Just like other chronically poor people, I have always made huge financial mistakes. I have overdrawn my bank accounts, not had bank accounts (Western Union isn’t a bank?); I’ve never had a credit card or any credit at all. I’ve dealt with constant teasing from friends and family: “How do you not even have a credit card?” I know they’re joking and don’t really expect an answer, but I’m always trying to explain myself in earnest. “Oh, you see I was married for a long time and my husband just handled everything so I didn’t know…” It always trails off to “I didn’t know.”

Though I really don’t know how I got here, I very much feel like I’ve never been anywhere else. Struggle is intimately familiar to me and those who are woo-woo minded would say it’s my comfort zone. They would say it’s where I keep myself because I secretly like it. I don’t know if that’s true, but I would agree it’s definitely familiar territory. I’m good at being poor. I’m good at surviving. I wasn’t raised poor but I did instinctively know to switch the electricity check with the water check, to say I paid it but oh, look at me, fiddle-dee-dee I’m so silly sorry for the mix up… I wasn’t…

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Kristine Levine
Human Parts

Kristine Levine is a comedian, actor, writer, radio personality currently living in Bisbee, Arizona. She lives with her son and her dog, Honey Switchblade.