I Can’t Stop Thinking About Jinkx Monsoon
An OCD story
It’s Christmas morning, and I am an adult. In the last month or so, I have asked my family for a couple of gifts I think I’d like: a weighted anxiety pillow, a ring light that clips onto my phone, a few books. There is coffee and chocolate and French toast and some Christmas music playing in the background. Everything is nice. This is Christmas, when you’re an adult.
So when I unwrap two tickets to Chicago on Broadway — a show that’s making headlines for casting Jinkx Monsoon, my favorite drag queen, in a big role — I lose my fucking mind. My wife and my in-laws have teamed up to get me tickets, flights, and a hotel for a long weekend in New York. I feel like I might hyperventilate. I feel like I might pass out.
I spend the entire day buzzing with happiness, in awe of the surprise. Chicago has been one of my favorite shows since I was a teenager! Matron Mama Morton is an incredible character and a perfect role for Jinkx! Queen Latifah’s portrayal of Mama in the film remake of Chicago was Very Important to my early queer identity! EVERYTHING! IS! GREAT!
But. Less than 48 hours later, after the parents have all gone home and the wrapping paper is obviously still not put away, who do you think I am — I am in the bedroom getting dressed when sharp pangs of anxiety start…
