I Chose My Friend over My Beliefs

Transformation is a step-by-step unfolding process.

Kate Orione
Human Parts
Published in
9 min readJan 24, 2024

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Photo by Tayla Kohler on Unsplash

We’re all guilty of making assumptions about ourselves and others. We boldly state, ‘I would never do that,’ swear, ‘I will love you forever,’ or declare, ‘She’s my best friend for life.’ But life is unpredictable; circumstances change, and our perceptions and choices transform. Confronting the disappointment of unmet expectations is tough, especially when it involves shifting the decisions and behaviors of our loved ones. However, these turning points, though painful, can free us, impart valuable lessons about ourselves and others, and propel us toward new beginnings.

A year before my 40th birthday, I started documenting my journey leading up to that milestone by writing a diary. In my mind, the year was destined to revolve around finding Mr. Right, celebrating my birthday hand in hand, and proudly introducing him to my friends and family. However, as the day of my birthday came and went, there was no sign of Prince Charming arriving on a horse or even an electric scooter to rescue me.

I thought my journal would be a playful echo of Bridget Jones’s Diary. Yet, it took an unexpected turn, resembling more of a severe exploration akin to the Netflix series “Unorthodox.” I never foresaw that on my way to 40, I’d dive into profound self-reflection, reshaping my core beliefs and altering my political views. Perhaps the primary origin of this transformation was a side effect of the pandemic — more time spent alone, isolated from others, with ample opportunities to read and reflect.

As a devoted Christian, I once justified church scandals by explaining to myself that we’re all sinners and trying to keep my focus on faith rather than the actions of leaders. However, during the pandemic, I found myself delving into theology, exploring various belief systems, digging into history, and even entertaining thoughts about extraterrestrial visitors. It dawned on me that none of us holds the ultimate truth, and perhaps we will all be in for a surprise after death.

This particular year, significant events also started unfolding in my life, almost as the Universe was attuned to my inner self, echoing, ‘I am undergoing a transition process; my foundation is trembling; help me understand why.’ And…

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