Member-only story
I Don’t Know What to Say When You Say I’m Pretty
What’s the proper response to a compliment?
I have a confession. I’m not the best at receiving compliments. In fact, I was once terrible at doing so. I would deflect and find a way to inform the compliment-giver why they had no business complimenting me. Compliment my dress. This old thing? It wasn’t even my first choice and it was available in a better color. Tell me my skin looks great. Nah, I was just looking at it in the mirror and I can see that it’s so oily and shiny and I can see my pores. I felt awkward and feeling awkward only made me want to move away from the uncomfortableness of it all.
With time I’ve learned that my inability to receive a compliment stemmed from feeling unworthy, which is a symptom of a greater issue — low self-esteem. I’m a former over-giver so it was always much easier for me to compliment others and feel they deserved to be complimented than to realize the same was true for me. I have improved and I’m really proud of myself. However, there is still one area where I struggle and that is compliments regarding my physical looks. And this extends even toward my daughter. I’m okay when others tell her she’s pretty. But it gets weird for me when people tell me she’s pretty.
You’re so pretty.
