I Had To Deal With a Divorce Without Ever Being Married

… and that completely f*cked me up.

In the early days of 2021, I was a mid-thirties bachelorette who had more or less recovered from discovering that her ex-boyfriend had cheated. It took me a while, some expensive self-love classes, and an 8-day water fast to overcome the trauma of the betrayal. I thought this would be the event marking my sentimental life for the worst. I was a naive and positive grasshopper then…

Being ghosted by a few different men, getting stuck in the limbo of a situationship, being played — all of these made a dent too. However, none of these contributed to the lack of faith in my sentimental future to the extent of getting thrown into the midst of a divorce that wasn’t mine.

Shortly after Valentine’s Day 2021, a close friend was served with a divorce. It came unexpectedly quickly, only a couple of years after their marriage. At first, my dear friend Alex*, someone who has been in my life for pretty much its entire length, refused to share any details. She was in so much shock and pain that she shut me down and dealt with her grief on her own. I gave her space for the rest of the year, occasionally checking on her but not directly asking about her divorce.

As we approached the Christmas celebrations of 2021, Alex looked somber than ever. She had drastically shrunk, was whiter than the school board she was using to teach, and had eyes so dimmed that even the most glittery eye shadows wouldn’t…