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I Quit Being a Therapist so I Could Be a Better Husband
I asked my wife what it’s like to be married to a clinical psychologist. Her answer changed our lives.
“I love that video of your wife talking about what it’s like to be married to you.”
That wasn’t what I expected an HBO director with years of TV experience to say while on set in Brooklyn, filming a series of mental health videos for HBO that launched in the fall of 2019.
“Seriously? I did such a bad job editing that one. I sorta gave up and just threw it up on YouTube.”
“That’s what I like about it. It’s just an honest conversation about your relationship. It’s rare to see a couple talk like that.”
The YouTube video she was referring to was something I put together seven months ago for Valentine’s Day 2019. I make videos about mental health and demystify what it’s like to be a therapist. I thought it would be fun to have my audience ask my wife questions about what it’s like to be married to a psychologist. The whole video came together in a few hours. I hadn’t thought of it again until this director brought it up.
I never rewatch videos because I only see the flaws — choppy edits, bad sound, and focus issues. But, as a YouTuber trying to improve his craft, I wanted to see why this video resonated with the renowned director.
Watching it again, I kept thinking about how much I hated the way my wide-angle lens distorted our faces. But since I was filming two people in a tight corner of a small Brooklyn bedroom, I didn’t have any other options.
Then there’s a section where my wife, Nhu-An, is answering a question about how available I am to her after a day of seeing patients:
Imagine spending your entire day being emotionally there for somebody. The most I spend with other people at my job is in a meeting and that’s an hour, two, three hours at most at a time and then I get a break and I get to sit at…
