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I Thought I Would Marry Jesus
Instead, I’m marrying a he/they lesbian
At the ripe old age of 12 years old, I decided to commit my life to marrying Jesus. I was an overzealous Catholic kid who swallowed the stories of mystical virgins hook, line, and sinker. I took the evangelical concept of “dating Jesus” to a whole new level — I believed that Jesus would become my mystical Spouse one day.
I would live as a single woman, physically, while He put a ring on it, spiritually. I wanted to become a nun, a sister, or a consecrated virgin. I researched which would be the most official espousal recognized by the Catholic Church. I didn’t want to just metaphorically marry Jesus. I wanted to literally be His Bride, in the most theologically legit way possible.
After a few viewings of the Sound of Music, I was certain of my vocation. I’m sure my obsession with this film had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I, a baby gay, thought Julie Andrews was pretty in her heyday (insert sarcastic cough here).
God was calling, and I was ready to pick up what He was putting down. May I remind you, I was 12 years old. I was in over my head.
This idea had to come from TV because it most certainly was not sparked by a pious home environment. My family wasn’t what I would call particularly religious. We were one…
