I Was a Rising High School Athlete and Then I Disappeared

Reflections on an Enigmatic History in Competition

Image by Armando Diaz

The bell rang. I sprinted forward. Suddenly, I was leading. For 7 laps I had hovered, obstinately, at the race leader’s shoulder, stride for stride. Now I was fleeing, attempting to escape his gravity. I was flush with nervous energy and anticipation. I didn’t dare look back. The track ahead was everything, the world beyond, the stands, the sounds, all unintelligible, amorphous. Steadily the finish line approached.

I crossed the threshold with a time of 10:08, a new record for my small rural high school. It earned me the class C title in the 3200 meters (aka the 2-mile). It was my most impressive performance of that spring of ’95, my junior year. The strong closing lap and uneven pacing of that race suggested I had faster times in me. At that moment I was still a green track athlete with little experience training and racing. However, my results over the last two seasons had vaulted me to local standout status. The improvement race to race, the medals, were empowering, but I was hardly content, I wanted to race with the top high school runners in the country.

Weeks later I would race the 3200m at sectionals, the regional qualifying meet for state championships. The top two finishers of each event would advance to…