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I Went on 57 First Dates Last Year
Modern dating is soulless
57 is a big number when it comes to first dates in a single year, but to really understand the magnitude of it, I need to drive home the point that these are all real people, who like you or me, are the main characters in their lives. To that end, here’s a list of names:
Leah, Keese, Ani, Natalie, Jalissa, Anna, Nathaly, Yessie, Elizabeth, Valerie, Alexis, Mariam, Shy, Mel, Stacy, Sanny, Vèvè, Christine (x2), Gaby (x2), Nadia, Cher, Luba, Aliya, Sasha, Nya, Laura, Fulya, Kris, Neda, Nina, Schama, Meecah, Deedee, Phara, Olga, Hayley, Cindy, Imani, Paola, Bianca, Rami, Zoe, Yasmin, Si, Geniya, Stecie, Ashley, Kim, Carine, Isha, Amanda, Claudia, Maryinet, Maria, Sara
Some of them grew up around the same area as me, S. Florida, and we had been crossing each other’s paths over and over again for the last 30 years without knowing we’d one day be sharing an evening together. Others immigrated here from the opposite side of the world, and we happened to make a connection that otherwise would’ve never been possible. Some were older than me, some younger. There were professors, personal trainers, retail managers, entrepreneurs, doctors, architects, accountants, etc. Like me, they were all looking for love and struggling to find it.
I’ve repeated the process so many times that it’s almost automated: I do my swiping like anyone else. First, I check if I find them physically attractive or not, then, I look to read their prompts, occupation, etc., and decide whether or not I think we’d get along. Once we match, I scan their profile for something I can comment on to start a conversation. Usually there isn’t anything, so I go with two messages, “Hey!” and “How’s your day been?” Or, if it’s the weekend, “Hey!” and “Do anything fun this weekend?”
If they respond, which many don’t, I make conversation based on the information they give me. If the response is too dry for me to follow up on, they still typically ask, “And you?” I respond with a detailed description of my day and…
