I Wish I Had Asked My Grandma The Important Questions Before It Was Too Late

How I regret the loss of memories that died with my grandma

Kim Fedyk
Human Parts

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Photo by Eduardo Barrios on Unsplash

My maternal grandma died when I was in my early twenties. When the nursing home called to tell my mom the news, we rushed right over. My grandma was found already in rigor. She had been dead for hours and no one had noticed.

The nursing home took no responsibility. This was not the way any of us wanted it to go. A vibrant, wonderful, loving woman dying alone and unnoticed. It was heartbreaking and devastating.

But when I started preparing for the funeral, and going through old pictures of her, I was hit with another loss. A loss I had never anticipated. I saw pictures of her as a young woman with my grandpa, in places I didn’t know. Pictures where she was laughing and carefree. Pictures from a time in her life I didn’t experience.

Why had I never asked her about them? Why had I never asked her who she was before? Why had I never thought about it until now? Now when it was too late.

My grandma and I had a great relationship. She and my grandpa lived a few blocks away from my childhood home, so I saw them frequently. When I started half-day kindergarten, my grandma would pick me up from school and we would walk back to…

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Kim Fedyk
Human Parts

Published author, wife and mom. I blog about motherhood, life and my self-publishing journey