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The Tacky Freedom of a Route 66 Tourist Trap
In Uranus, Missouri, a father and daughter disagree over strip clubs and fudge packer jokes
My dad and I, like so many Americans today, are living out the philosophical divide plaguing this country. I am a libtard. He is a libertarian. I am a feminist. He is most decidedly not. We are both white. My dad, about 20 years ago, became an investor in a strip club in Missouri. For the record, I don’t have a problem with that. I’m pro sex worker and this is a free country. A woman should be free to make money in whatever manner suits her life, and a man should be able to own a 15% share in a strip club if he so desires. I’m certainly no prude, and I’m all for freedom and bodily autonomy.
God bless America.
From the beginning, the strip club was popular and successful, catering to the Army base nearby. But after a few years, a new governor decided to wage war against the state’s exotic dance industry. When the laws changed to require that exotic dancers wear pasties and thongs — or clubs had to cease serving alcohol — business dropped off and the club struggled to stay open.
But this is America, and like all good capitalists, my dad’s business partners opted to make lemonade out of a lemon situation. In the area surrounding the strip club, right off fabled Route 66, they founded the fake town of Uranus, Missouri which, to this day, is a fun little unincorporated tourist stop. They opened a tattoo parlor and a restaurant next to the strip club. But what really transformed Uranus into a tourist sensation (besides the eventual closure of the strip club, which catapulted Uranus into family-friendly marketability) was the addition of a fudge shop: The Uranus Fudge Factory. Their tagline is The Best Fudge Comes from Uranus.
Almost immediately, the fudge shop became ridiculously lucrative. Soon they added a firing range, a sporting goods store, a sideshow museum of oddities, an axe-throwing facility, and a rocket. The whole complex bills itself as an all-American, rootin-tootin’ genuine roadside Missouri experience. When they purchased the rocket, the partners had also invested in the Uranus Examiner, a weekly newspaper, so they could run the headline “Mayor Lands Rocket in Uranus.” For a brief time…
