Member-only story
This Is Us
It’s Not You. It’s Trauma.
When you think the problem is the answer, you’re helpless to solve it
“You have to call it what it is before you can tackle it.”
Those words repeat in my thoughts, bounce around my skull, and buzz under my skin. “But I don’t know what it is.”
“Okay. Describe again how you’ve been feeling the past month?”
“Tired, sluggish. My life just feels monotonous, so I’m bored and restless. I can’t focus on my class assignments, like at all, which is new for me. I keep not being able to sleep, so I feel like I’m moving underwater the next day. I used to love school. I just don’t care about it right now… I can’t make myself care about much.” I finish with an exhale.
“All right. I want you to read something for me.” Reaching sideways to her desk, she shuffles some papers and pulls some sheets to her clipboard. Holding the clipboard out to me, I notice she’s covering half the page.
I read through the typed list quickly:
- Feelings of sadness, worthlessness
- Fixation on past mistakes, guilt
- Lack of interest in things you used to enjoy (hobbies, entertainment, sports)
- Insomnia or sleeping too much
