Member-only story
Express Yourself
Just Say Fat
Please, let fat people describe our own bodies
Just say fat.
Not “curvy” or “chubby” or “chunky” or “fluffy” or “more to love” or “big guy” or “full-figured” or “big-boned” or “queen size” or “husky” or “obese” or “overweight.”
Just say fat.
Do not screw up your face, straining as you reach for phrases like “he…struggles with his weight” or “body image has always been difficult for her.” Do not say “body positivity” or “self-love” or whatever lets you forget that you’re calling someone fat.
Just say fat.
Do not rush to correct fat friends who name their own bodies for themselves, using the words that fit their experience. Recognize that a fat person daring to name their own body is an act of growth and that when you correct us, you stunt it. It is also an act of rebellion, and when you silence it, you silence us. Remember that your comfort does not take precedence over our autonomy. Do not rush to soothe and center your own discomfort by insisting “sweetie, no! You’re not fat!” Let us say our own names for ourselves.
Just say fat.
Do not add caveats and qualifiers. Do not say “fat but healthy,” “fat but working on it,” “fat, but not, like, 400 pounds,” or “fat but happy.” If you’re taking a stand for fat people, take a stand for all of us. Do not limit our humanity by limiting who among us you will accept.
Just say fat.
Notice the impact of the word, how it changes in your mouth over time. Notice where you feel it in your body, and how. Is it tension? Fear? Or something else altogether? Sit with your own discomfort with the word, if you have it. Do not assign that discomfort to me, attributing it to your own assumption that I will be insulted. That discomfort isn’t mine; it’s yours. Listen to what it is teaching you about your relationship to your own body, yes, and to the bodies of those who are fatter than you.
Own the ways in which you have written the story of the word fat, and the ways in which you have been complicit in making it seem such a terrible thing to say, and an even worse thing to be.
