HUMOR

Killing Him Softly With My Bat, My Wiffle Bat

Am I my brother’s reaper? Yes I am.

Daniel Williams
Human Parts
Published in
13 min readApr 27, 2024

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by author

This is my story.

There are only four chapters:

· Can’t Draw

· Eff Word

· Fat Boy

and

· Murder

Chapter One: Can’t Draw

My brother and I started out as a team.

Long ago, right after our sister was born, Joe and I leaned over the edge of her crib and coughed on her, hoping she might catch disease and die.

We hadn’t planned on doing this. There was no premeditation. We just had that kind of connection back then. A couple little killers’ version of finishing each other’s sentences.

Meg did not die. Though, if she had, it would have given Joe and I a secret that might have kept our flawless companionship intact through what was to happen next:

Aging.

I grew older.

Which meant I became more and more of a threat to Joe. I had ideas of my own. I consumed more resources, took up more space.

I mutated into nothing more than an oldish baby in need of coughing on.

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Daniel Williams
Human Parts

A poverty-stricken, soft Batman by night. Illustrator and writing teacher by day. Previously: McSweeney’s, Slackjaw.