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Little Jesus Punished You: My Search for a Dead Idiom
A story of family, Catholicism, and etymology
My wife and I couldn’t agree on lunch. She said something snarky, grabbed a box of Cheerios from the cupboard, and promptly dropped it on the kitchen floor, spilling them everywhere.
“Little Jesus punished you,” I said. We laughed.
I’ve carried this idiom for my entire life. It’s a playful retort with equal parts vengeance, omniscience, and shame — a beautiful work of Catholic dialectics. As far as I understood, it was universally known to anyone whose parents went to elementary school with nuns, or anyone who might have stubbed their toe as a child after a bit of prideful posturing.
But then I Googled it. The search returned zero results.
As with memes, the idiom is a way to establish your own identity, but also transcend literal language to convey a more abstract, inherent truth.
This seemed impossible. I called my dad to break the news. He was in shock: “You might as well have told me I’m adopted.” His mom said it. My mom’s mom said it. I could call any of his sisters — but I didn’t need to. I remember…
