Lost Cause

How much can I really expect to improve my sense of direction?

I hope this external compass works better than my internal one. (Photo by Ethan Sykes)

When I took my first new car on a test drive, the dealer, sitting beside me, said, “Turn left.” I went half a block past the turn, then did a U-turn.

“I can’t buy a car,” I said, “that can’t do a U-turn.”

There’s a story that my family tells, about when I was about 12. We had gotten up at 6 am and piled into the car for the 5-hour drive from Toronto to Ottawa. I was cranky at being woken up so early, and after an hour in the car, my dad exclaimed, “Oh no! We’ve been driving east this whole time!” Family lore is that I wailed and berated him for taking us an hour out of our way.

This is only funny to people who know that Ottawa is east of Toronto.

But, unlike my ‘even though I’m in a basement, I know which way is North’ sister, and my ‘what do you mean, you got lost in London?’ father, my poor spatial abilities are legendary.

It’s here somewhere. Just keep walking. (Photo by Krzysztof Kotkowicz)

Dude, where’s my car?

Until I had children, I lost my car, often. Either parked on a street or in a lot or a garage, I’d sigh, and tell whoever was with me that just…